Many Shades Of Black
by courtney-catastrophe
Summary: When Alice wakes up in a mystery man's house, with a wedding ring, faded memories, and a killer hang-over, what ensues? Oh, there's sure to be smut; Alice x Emmett. Rated M for a reason.. AU/AH.
1. Rings, Kisses, and Tears

**Many Shades Of Black**

**(A/N)**

**This story was inspired (partly) by the song Many Shades Of Black by The Raconteurs. :) That song is bomb. If you haven't listened to it, I suggest you go do so, now. **

**But, it's okay if you don't listen to it. The main plot isn't focused on the song, I just think it sorta fits. :)**

**And yes, this is an Alice x Emmett story. If you don't like it, don't read it. Simple. But please, don't leave a bad review because of the pairing. **

**I'll probably have different songs for each chapter. :) If I don't, feel free to leave song ideas in reviews!**

**Oh, and for now, it'll all be in Alice's POV. If not, it would give away parts of the future plot. ;) If you want, when this is over, I'll write parts in Emmett's POV, or the whole story if enough people want it. **

**And yes, I changed a few things. Such as Alice's last name (and of course Emmett is a Cullen.), and I wasn't quite sure what color her eyes were, so just go along with it? Lol…**

**I hope to update every Friday, but don't kill me if I don't. D: Writing gets hard for me sometimes.**

**Now, enough of my rambling. On to the story!**

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**Many Shades Of Black**

**Ch. 1:**

Chapter In Which Rings Are Found, Epic Kisses Are Engaged In, And Tears Fall

**Song(s):**

Many Shades Of Black - The Raconteurs

I woke up, and felt like a pissed off construction worker was taking a jackhammer to the inside of my head. What a way to start the day.

Grudgingly, I opened my eyes. Where was I? Whose bed was this? Was the light usually THIS bright? All questions I couldn't answer.

Sitting up, I recognized the distinctly male, musky with a hint of cinnamon and pine, scent of the room. It was a vaguely familiar scent; I was sure I'd smelled it before. But what, _or who_, I thought, wincing, did it belong to?

Looking around, I finally spotted a clock. 2:37pm, it read. 2:37?!? How long had I been sleeping?! I stumbled out of the bed, trying to find a bathroom. I needed to get out of there, ASAP. Thankfully it was Saturday (I had enough sense left to remember that detail), so I didn't have to worry about making up an excuse for why I had missed work.

After opening the door to a closet, and then a hallway, I found the doorway leading to the bathroom. His apartment was very clean, surprisingly. _Or her_, I shuddered painfully at the thought.

Looking in the mirror, I saw just how much of a wreck I was. My short black hair was a disheveled mess upon my small head. Huge bags were under my hazel eyes, my black eyeliner smeared everywhere. My full, pouty lips were curved into a frown. Then my eyes got to my neck. Well, more like the giant welt on the side of it. A hickey?! Since when did Mary Alice Whitlock get hickeys?!

Stunned at my most recent discovery, my small hands found their way up into my haystack of hair, tangling themselves there. That's when I felt it. What was on my hand? My eyes the size of saucers, I hesitantly pulled my left hand down for closer inspection.

Upon my fourth finger, a curiously expensive looking gold ring, with a huge diamond in the middle, now rested. The diamond was square, with 2 smaller circular pink diamonds on either side of it. And above it, sat a slim plain gold band. Someone spent serious cash on these rings.

…THESE RINGS. HOLY FUCK I WAS WEARING A WEDDING RING.

And I didn't even remember the guy's name. _Hm_, I thought, _at least now I know I'm at a man's house_. _And that's why I have a hickey… I'm not Mary Alice Whitlock anymore. I wonder what my name is? Ugh…_

After quickly washing my face, I found my way back to the man's bedroom, searching for my cell phone. I found it thrown on the floor, 5 new text messages. I sighed, reading them, starting with the oldest message.

_From: Bella!_

_Received on: January 2__nd__, 8:32pm_

_Alice! Where are you? We had dinner plans, at 7, if you recall._

Rolling my eyes, I flipped to the next one.

_From: Bella!_

_Received on: January 2__nd__, 8:56pm_

_Alice? I'm getting worried… please answer me!_

Great. Now I felt bad ON TOP OF being married to a total stranger. How much worse could this day get? Groaning, I flipped to the next one.

_From: Bella!_

_Received on: January 2__nd__, 9:21pm_

_MARY ALICE! If you don't call me soon, I'm filing a missing persons report! Don't think I won't!_

I actually giggled at that one. It sounded strange, the musical giggle coming from my scratchy throat. I flipped to the next one.

_From: Bella!_

_Received on: January 2__nd__, 10:08pm_

…_oh. I'm sorry I disturbed you… hehe. Tell Alice to call me when you 2 are free… please. :)_

Wait… who messaged her? I had an internal debate for a few moments, then decided to read the most recent message before checking the sent box.

_From: Papabear! 3_

_Received on: January 3__rd__, 11:49am_

_Hey sweetie. If u didn't see, I left u 2 advil + a note on the table beside the bed. Love you. Feel better._

What the hell? Who was Papabear? And why couldn't he have at least put his real name in my phone? Ugh! Without thinking too much more on the subject, I didn't particularly feel like having a mental breakdown, I ran to the bedside table and downed the advil with the water also sitting there, and read the note.

_Sweetie,_

_Good morning. :) Feeling better? I hope so._

_Just in case, I made chicken soup before I left. Extra broth, just how you like it. It's in the microwave if you want it._

_I have football practice until 3, and then we'll go get your stuff and move you into my apartment. Are you as excited as I am? I hope. :) _

_Love you,_

_Em._

Em. What did that stand for? The advil were starting to work, the haze starting to evaporate from my mind, allowing me to think easier, and remember some things from the previous night.

Emmett! That's his name! The man who this terrific scent belong to. The man with the beautiful sparkling blue eyes and gorgeous dimples. The man I…married.

I groaned, loudly. And then looked back to the clock. 3:12pm.

Emmett would be home any second. _…shit._

I glanced for the first time at what I was wearing. My favorite pair of black lacey boyshort underwear were all that was covering my bottom half. I groaned again, it seemed that was the only noise I could make. I had on my black cami, bra-less. Uh-oh… did I have sex with Emmett?

I wasn't a virgin, but I didn't want my first time with my soon-to-be-ex husband, that thought made me smile, to be forgotten.

Actually, maybe I did.

And that's when the front door opened, somewhere in the apartment. I didn't exactly know my way around.

"Alice? Babe?"

Fuck! What was I supposed to do? Act all lovey-dovey like he seemed hell-bent on doing?! Or tell him the truth, that I MUST'VE been drunk last night, and this was all a big misunderstanding?!

I didn't get the chance to do either of those things, because while I still debating, the god himself walked into the room. My jaw dropped looking at him.

He had to have been at least 6'4", 6'5". His muscles strained against his tight, blue t-shirt. His jeans were rather low on his hips, and I could see the V underneath his shirt, leading down into those jeans. But my eyes kept going back to his face. To his stunning blue eyes. To his perfect smile, with the deep dimples. To his curly dark brown locks. And the scent wafting from him, god that glorious scent. I felt like drooling. Or punching him. Or both.

He must've seen my expression, flickering between desire and fury, because he chuckled. Loudly. And it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever heard.

_Get yourself together, Alice! He got you to marry him, drunk! You don't ever want to see him again! _I thought, shaking my head slightly.

"Earth to Mary Alice Cullen. Is there a brain functioning inside that beautiful head of your's?" He inquired, walking towards me. In the back of my mind, I noticed I now knew my last name, and the way his eyes lingered on my underwear.

"Did we have sex?" I blurted out. Well, I had to ask eventually, and now was as good a time as any.

Emmett pursed his lips. "No. I didn't think you'd remember if we did." He looked regretful. I looked furious.

"BUT YOU THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY TO GET _MARRIED_?!" I shouted, pacing the length of the room.

He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, and walked over to his bed, patting the space beside him. I made no advance towards where he sat. "Alice, honey, have you ever met someone and known you were meant to be? Known that they were the only person in the entire world for you? Call it intuition, or maybe just instinct, but when I saw you in the club last night, a drink almost being forced down your throat, I thought I was dreaming. Hell, I HAVE seen you in my dreams before. You may not remember it, as I hoped you would," He grimaced, "but I love you. With all my heart. Can't you at least give me – us – a chance?" He finished, a puppy-dog look on his perfect face.

I looked at him skeptically. "A CHANCE?! You should've thought about that last fucking night! When I was agreeing to all this shit, WASTED! What, did you think magically I would think the same sober? That it was sane to marry someone I'd known for maybe 2 hours? I don't know you!"

Emmett had his head in his hands. When he looked up, his face was blank. Completely void of emotion. The icy blankness hurt, deep. But why did that hurt? _I_ was the one rejecting _him_. Hmph. "Well, you need me to sign the divorce papers, and I won't do it. I think, no, I _KNOW_, we were meant to be Alice. And somehow, I _will_ prove that to you."

He stood, all sorts of resolve written on his face, and strutted over to me. Looking down at me, I had to have been at least a foot shorter than him, he grabbed me by the waist, pulled me up to his height, and kissed me. Hard. All his passion was thrown into this kiss, and it happened so quickly all I had time to do was kiss back. I wrapped my arms firmly around his neck, and my ankles connected behind his back. His hands kneaded the flesh exposed above my underwear.

And then my senses came back to me, and I smacked him.

"Ow, babe. That hurt." He grimaced, rubbing his check, and letting me down to the floor.

I crossed my arms over my chest, noticing how tight his jeans were, and smirked. "You _WILL_ sign those divorce papers. Now, where're my clothes? I know I didn't come in just this." I said, gesturing to my half-naked body.

He muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'I COULD make you come in just that', and led me to the main room of his apartment.

As I suspected, this room was very orderly, too. Cream colored walls, with a nice contrasting navy carpet, and various pictures of him and (what I suspected was) his family. I followed him to the large couch, and grabbed my jeans, socks, flats, and overshirt from his giant hand.

I dressed quickly, wanting his wandering eyes off of me.

"So, wifey, whatcha wanna do today?" Emmett said from behind me.

"How about, we go find a cliff, and I push you off?" I said, my voice oozing with fake sweetness.

"Aww. That's a low blow, Ali." I turned to face him, angerly. "Do. Not. Call. Me. Ali." I responded, fuming. That was my childhood nickname, I'd hated it since high school.

He sighed. "See, I do know things about you. Do you really not remember last night at _all_? We talked for hours on end, about everything. How else would I know that scar on your left shoulder in from a biking accident because a squirrel ran in front of you and you swerved and fell? How else would I know that your favorite desert of all-time is the chocolate-coconut cake you had when you visited your Grandma when you were a kid? Hmm, Ali?"

My eyes involuntarily teared up. I had to acquiesce; very few people knew any of that. I tended to ramble on and on about the current topic, and never hovered on me or my past.

So, instead of staying and letting him talk me into this nonsense, I walked over to the front door, turned around, and said, "Goodbye Emmett." And ran down the 3 flights of stairs from the fourth floor to the first, and ran out and caught a cab.

I gave him directions to my house, sobbing the entire way.

Would he really refuse to sign those damned divorce papers?

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**So is this a good idea for a story? Yes or no?**

**That's 6 and a half pages right there. :) If I continue (AKA if you like it), the chapters'll probably be about 6-10 pages long each. :)))**

**PLEASE review. :) I'll give you a virtual hug! :D Haha. XD**

**Xoxo,  
****Courtney.**

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	2. Taxis, Brad, and Breakfast

**A/N**

**So, I got WAY more hits than reviews last chapter. D: It makes my day to see a review… so review review review; please! It helps me write faster. :)**

**On another note, to all the other writers, do you make a list of sorts? Haha. XD I don't want to contradict my characters' stories and traits later in the story, so I've made an elaborate list of everything about all of them. Lol…**

**Annnd… writer's block blows. XD**

**Also, I got an idea from a few other fanfics. If you have an out-there quote you think would be funny for me to incorporate into my story, feel free to tell me. :) I'll try. Haha.**

**Ps- words **_**like this**_** are song lyrics. :) Neither of the songs **_**really**_** fit… so, I combined the 2. XD If you have another song suggestion, please feel free to make one. :D**

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**Many Shades Of Black**

**Ch. 2:**

Chapter In Which Taxi Cab Drivers Are Ignored, Brad Pitt Is Ogled, And Breakfast Is Made.

**Song(s):**

The Suffering - Coheed and Cambria / Almost Easy - Avenged Sevenfold

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_So, instead of staying and letting him talk me into this nonsense, I walked over to the front door, turned around, and said, "Goodbye Emmett." And ran down the 3 flights of stairs from the fourth floor to the first, and ran out and caught a cab._

_I gave him directions to my house, sobbing the entire way._

_Would he really refuse to sign those damned divorce papers?_

"…miss? Miss…? MISS?"

I blinked rapidly, feeling only slightly embarrassed I had tuned him out so much. I threw the money for the trip at him, and rushed into my apartment on the second floor.

Imagine my chagrin when I noticed I wasn't the only person in my living room.

"Babe? I-" "GET OUT!" "But-" "GET! THE! FUCK! OUT!" "No, wifey."

I was seething. Emmett was lounging on my deep purple loveseat, full-out grin on his face, arms behind his head, the epidemy of relaxation.

"I'll call the cops." I said, glaring.

"And tell them what exactly? 'Officer! My husband is in my living room! Make him leave!' He'd probably laugh, and tell you to get laid more often." He said, grin still in-tact.

_**Listen well, will you marry me? Not now, boy…**_

"GAH! Please leave. Please. I can't deal with you."

"Nawh. You have food. I don't. I think I'll stay riiiiight here. Or, perhaps, I'll go into the bedroom, IF you care to join me… I found this magazine in your room, and this swing looks fun…" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"If your goal in life is to make me want to drive my Porche into a brick wall and hope I don't live to tell the tale, you've succeeded." This earned a deep, booming chuckle as he walked across the wooden floor to my bedroom.

And this was when the doorbell rang.

"ALLLIIIICCCCEEEE! Open up! We picked up KFC! 11 special herbs and spices covering the non-steroid-fulled chicken…"

He was still rambling about KFC's magnificence when I opened the door, panicked.

"Jazzy? Bells? What the hell are you doing here?"

"Well, sis, if you remember, we made plans to lounge around your place tonight, watch movies, and pig out." My older brother said, smiling, bucket of chicken in one hand, trying to get around my thin, fragile looking arms. Bella just stood there, smiling knowingly, movies in hand.

"I'm surprised you're even _here_, Alice. I mean, you did seem rather bus-" I quickly stopped my best friend's sentence by ushering them inside, hoping for once Emmett would keep his (oh so adorable) mouth shut.

"ALI! When're you going to agree just to move into my place? It's so much bigger than your's. And these hardwood floors are killin' my feet! Then again, the wood floors lead to the topic of another type of wood- Oh, hello." He said, coming into the room, clad in only his navy boxers, hanging precariously low on his hips, shock all over his features. His musk/cinnamon/pine scent hit me like a brick wall. Was it cologne, or just him? No time to ask now.

"Move in? _Ali_? I'm your brother and I'm not even allowed to call you Ali! Who is this? And why's he …naked?" Jasper looked ready to kill.

"Does my being half-naked bother you, shorty?" Emmett replied. Jasper was a good 6'1", but Emmett still had at least 4 inches on him.

My glorious best friend decided to step in, since I was too frazzled for words.

"Emmett, Jasper. Jasper, Emmett. Now that introductions are over, who wants to watch Troy?" She announced, taking the large bucket of chicken from Jasper, and setting it on my counter.

While Emmett and Jazzy were in a stare-down in the middle of my living room, I popped Troy in my DVD player, and slipped into the kitchen beside Bella.

"Thanks, dear. I owe you." I told her, smiling, while putting a plethora of chicken pieces onto plates.

"Big time." She joked, nudging my arm. "By the way… he's hot." A smirk was on her flawless face.

"Can we not talk about my… husband?" I cringed.

"Fine. Can we talk about how fooineee your husband's ass is?" She winked, and flew into the living room before I could retort. Hmph.

Since my somewhat large 29" RCA television was in the back, right-hand corner of my living room, the 3-person couch, and 2-person loveseat were both in viewing range of the gorgeous man who was about to come on-screen – Brad Pitt.

Problem was, in the dark, everyone looks the same. Actually, that's a lie. I knew the larger silhouette from the other two, more slight forms. But, either way, I ended up sitting, not beside Emmett, but on him. Yes, on my husband's barely clothed (_cringe_) lap.

_**Come back to me, it's almost easy…**_

I sat there for a second, wondering why such strong deja-vu came over me. Then I remembered, I _didn't_ remember most of last night. Damnit.

I quietly sat beside him, hoping neither my brother, nor Bella saw that. Looking across the room, I'd had no such luck. Both were staring, wide-eyed, at me.

But, Emmett being Emmett, didn't pick up on this tension. He got up, smiling and sashaying his hips, and went into the kitchen. I heard the familiar noise of the fridge opening, and the _chink_ of bottles being carried together, and his body heat was quickly beside me on the loveseat once more.

"What was that?" I said in a forced whisper, referring to his little 'show' to the kitchen.

"Awh, babe, I'm just giving you an alcoholic beverage so you'll like me more. Of course." He replied in mocked earnestness.

_**I'm not insane, I'm not insane… come back to me… it's almost easy…**_

I hit his arm, took the beer, and crossed the room to the couch, where I plopped down beside Bella.

"Oohh, a little harsh, doncha think? He's like a big teddybear – he needs affection and warm hugs to function." She said, giving me a sad face. "He completes you." She giggled, putting her 2 hands together to form a heart, which I batted away.

In my peripheral vision, I noticed Emmett blatantly disregarding the movie – his bright blue eyes were focused on me. Hence why I was grimacing, even while Brad Pitt danced around on-screen in today's equivalent of a skirt. I quickly chugged my beer.

Before I knew it, the movie was over. Bella and Jasper joked around a little, mainly forced small-talk. They weren't dense enough not to feel the tension during our 'family' time. By the time they were gone, it was 8pm. I sighed, eyeing the mess all around my apartment. But, I was okay with it, because Emmett was nowhere in sight. I started humming the beat of Get Over It by Ok Go as I did dishes.

I'd always found chores to be soothing. As much as I'd rather be shopping – who wouldn't – it took my mind off things. Mindless hand work. Could I ask for much more at the moment?

It wasn't until I had dried, and put away, the dishes, thrown in a load of laundry, and quickly dusted my apartment, that I found where Emmett had disappeared to. My bed. My perfect, slightly long (I needed a long bed; even though I was abnormally short at 4'10", I was always afraid something was going to eat my feet in the night.) bed. In MY bedroom.

But somehow, Emmett didn't look out of place. It looked almost… right. Except, he was laying diagonally, snoring, my newest issue of Cosmo lying beside his outstretched arm, with no room (even if I WANTED to lay with him) for me. Hmph.

_**You may be invited, girl, but you're not coming in…**_

So, I took the pillow from beside his head, the blanket from his body, and went out to my couch, and slept. Like a baby. In my clothes and all. And so ended my first day of marriage. **(You're lucky; I was going to end it here. O:)**

~*~

Unfortunately, this made for a very cranky Alice the following morning. The old couch with a broken spring was no match for my Sealy Posturepedic bed.

Did I smell… eggs? And some kind of pig? I perked up. Maybe Jazz or Bells decided to come over and make breakfast. They both had keys to my apartment.

Of course, my brain was not functioning properly, because, I had momentarily forgotten my husband, and why I had been sleeping on the couch from 10:30 until 6, and who would most likely be in my kitchen.

But even fully functioning, I would never've guessed he would be naked except for the apron reading 'Kiss the cook' tied around his waist.

"Hey wifeyyyy! Are you hungry by any chance? I maaaade sausage, and bacon, and ham, and eggs. I don't remember you telling me which type of processed pig meat you liked, so I made three."

"Emmett, could you, by chance, put clothes on?"

"Aww, why wifey? If you decide to jump me, like last night on the sofa," he did that wriggling of the eyebrows thing again, "I want to be prepared!"

"I. Did. Not. Jump. You. I merely have bad depth perception, and I thought you were farther back than you really were. Hmph." I crossed my arms across my chest, taking a pork-filled plate. "And for the record, I like bacon the best." I retorted, sticking my tongue out like a 5 year old, and heading to the bathroom to shower.

I stepped into my relatively large bathroom. I loved the smell of a bathroom – so clean, and sanitary. I smiled unconsciously. I turned on the water, and slowly the bathroom filled with steam. I stripped, and got in the hot water, letting it roll down my back, soothing me in both spirit and body.

After spending a good hour in the shower, lavishing my hair, and washing my body repeatedly, I reluctantly exited.

But, my oaf of a husband had to ruin everything, it seemed, and decided to 'accidentally' forget I'd been taking a shower. I screamed, and quickly threw a towel around my exposed self.

"I'm going to call the cops on you for being a peeping tom!"

"But babe, we're married. And, I'd be a curious Emmett, not a peeping tom." He said, winking, and left the bathroom, without so much as an excuse as to why he had barged in.

I quickly dressed in a simple tight lack t-shirt, shrunken grey vest, cream colored mini, and black heels, and pulled out my phone.

I found the entry for Garrett; he owed me anyways.

"_riiiing… riiiing…_ Hello?"

"Garrett? It's me, Alice."

"Oh, hello Alice! What a pleasant surprise. To whom do I owe the pleasure?"

"Just my _husband, _Emmett."

"Why Alice! I'm shocked! You didn't even tell me you were dating."

I hadn't really thought of how awkward it would be to call my lawyer friend – he was gay; so it wasn't awkward in that sense – and tell him I got married on a whim.

"Well… I wasn't. That's what the call is about, I'm afraid. I was actually wondering how fast you could come up with the paperwork that would be required for a divorce?"

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**Bahaha! I'm stopping there. :) My overloaded brain can't write anymore. Sorry about the delay – I'm late posting already, and it's only the second chapter, I know I know. D: Family stuff kept me, I apologize. :)**

**Yay or nay?**

**Review, review, review. Please. *puppy dog pout***

**Xoxo,  
****Courtney.**


	3. The Tape, Batman, and One Hot Date

**A/N: Every time I try to start this chapter, something happens. Like, I'll puke. Or, I'll feel all like 'zomg I'ma pass out O:' and I'll freak out. It's like I was not meant to write this chapter, lol.**

**And so you all know, I have never been married, therefore never needed anything close to divorce papers. So I'm totally making things up as I go along, though I did do a liiiittle research. :)**

**Ps- Again, words in bold, **_**italics**_**, and ****underlined**** are lyrics. :) Enjoy?**

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**Many Shades Of Black**

**Ch. 3:**

Chapter In Which The Tape Is Found, Batman Pays A Visit, And One Hot Double Date Begins.

**Song(s):**

Seduction – Alesana

**(I've changed the song at least 4 times, bare with me XD)**

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"_Why, Alice! I'm shocked! You didn't even tell me you were dating."_

_I hadn't really thought of how awkward it would be to call my lawyer friend – he was gay; so it wasn't awkward in that sense – and tell him I got married on a whim._

"_Well… I wasn't. That's what the call is about, I'm afraid. I was actually wondering how fast you could come up with the paperwork that would be required for a divorce?"_

Garrett cleared his throat in surprise. "Alice, I hate to ask, but would Emmett sign these papers?"

Even over the phone I could tell he was grimacing.

"…probably not. Is that a problem?" I figured it was, I got myself into this, I couldn't count on Garrett to be my knight in shining armor.

"Well, without his consent, there's a waiting period, and then if you can convince the court you are unfit to be wed any longer, they will divorce the two of you."

I sighed as relief coursed through my veins. _I can fix this. I don't have to stay married to him!_ I thought, bouncing gleefully.

"Thanks so, so, so much Garrett! I owe you! Wait, no, we're even." I said, laughter ever present in my voice.

"Yah, can we not discuss that? Ha, I'll talk to you later, Alice. Hopefully on a good note next time? Take care, bye."

"Cya." I closed the phone, shoving it roughly into the right pocket on my mini before happy-dancing in the hallway outside my bathroom.

But, as I've said before, the big oaf had to ruin _everything_. I turn, hearing the thud of his steps. _Even he can't ruin this moment!_ I thought, triumphantly. And then I actually looked at him, and what he was wearing. Or should I say, what he _wasn't_ wearing.

There stood Emmett, in the hallway, completely naked. Sure, I had seen him in the apron not two hours before, but tame Emmett partially nude, and excited Emmett fully nude were two different brain-frazzling concepts.

I struggled to keep my eyes above his waist as I spoke, "_Hubby dearest_," I started, gritting my teeth, "Is it absolutely necessary to walk around _my_ apartment nude?"

"Well, wifey, you see, I was still in my apron, but I found your room rather messy, so I started cleaning, and you'll _never_ guess what I found in your closet!"

My eyes widened, and I'm sure I was ten shades of red. I, Alice, blushed. It wasn't my 'little friend' as I'd grown to calling my useful yellow rabbit friend **(A/N: If anyone can tell me which story I got the yellow rabbit from, I will give them a shout-out in the form of their choosing next chapter. ;D)**, I wouldn't be half as embarrassed at I was.

No rather, it was…_ the tape._ Now that I could focus on something other than Little Emmett (who was not so little), I noticed the exact tape front my thoughts in his left hand. Shit.

"So, _Ali_, the tape was completely blank, just lying on a shelf, dying to be watched. I mean, it's not in DVD form, so I was sure something juicy had to be on it. Of course I had to see what was on this mystery tape! But, what I saw, is sure to be burned in my memory for all eternity," he laughed, that booming laugh that under normal circumstances would cheer everyone in the room, but I was too far gone in my anger/embarrassment to take much notice. "I have to ask, is that _Bella_ with you? The brunette that was over last night?"

I didn't answer, he knew it was.

"I have a few more questions, Ali," I started to retreat, fleeing to the kitchen. "Did you do this often?" I didn't dignify him with an answer, instead, went to do dishes, and found them already put away.

"Yes, I did dishes. That's what I went in the bathroom earlier for, to grab your plate – who takes food in the _bathroom_, anyways? But please tell me?" His eyes were huge, and the blue seemed so deep I could fall in. I was going to lose, I could feel it. When he whispered, "Please?" in the low, husky tone I've come to call the pre-sex voice, I answered, hoping to silence him.

"In college… I needed the money. Big time. My adoptive father was an arrogant rich prick, but told me and Jazzy we needed to _earn_ our way through college. Jasper took up bartending, and still does that now. There were few job openings though… and before I knew it, I found myself starring in cheesy porn flicks, like the one you're holding." I grimaced. That was word vomit in the finest form, but what else could you call the movie he was holding? Definitely not anything in the least bit cultured, so 'cheesy porn flick' it was. And Emmett resembled an old cartoon, jaw on the floor, tongue unrolling.

"But, why was Bella in it?" Another groan from me.

"That's actually how I… met Bella." A moment passed, and then Emmett was on the floor, in hysterics.

"_You_ – laugh – _met_ – laugh – _your best friend_ – laugh – _in_ – laugh – _the porn industry_?"

I threw my hands up, letting out a frustrated growl, and jumped over his curled body, looking for somewhere to get away from him. _Maybe he's right, my apartment is too small._

Apparently, he had recovered, because suddenly I heard his voice right behind me. "So, Bella was good I take it?" I could hear the smile in his voice. _Two can play this game._

"Actually, she sought _me_ out and we became best friends, so I would assume that means _I'm_ the better out of us two. Not that you'll ever get to be the judge of that." I said boldly, turning to face him, hands on my hips, and a smirk on my lips. He surprised me again though, and had a shit-eating grin on his face.

"I may not be able to compare – now – but I know little Emmett sure liked your movie. Which brings us back to why I no longer have my apron…" He trailed off, suggestively. "By the way, I'm just repaying you. I mean, when I came in the bathroom to get your plate, I saw you all naked and wet," he winked, "I'm not wet, but you've seen me in the nuuuuuuuude now!" His shit-eating grin returned.

I couldn't deny I was attracted to Emmett. But it was almost completely physical. I mean, he was a beast, no one could deny. Those gorgeous blue eyes stunned me. But, I wasn't going to sleep with him. _Well, not sober, anyways._

_**Do you remember me and our beautiful affair? **_

_**Look in my eyes and honestly tell me our love is gone!**_

"Aw, huuuun, whatcha thinkin' 'bout?! Because all _I_ can think about are those moves you pulled in that video. Are you still that flexible?"

Just to torture him a bit, I slid down until my legs were flat against the ground on either side of me (it didn't go unnoticed by Emmett that my skirt had to slide quite a ways up to accomplish this), grabbed each ankle with a hand, and touched my nose to the floor in front of me, then popped up to a standing position.

"Oh, fuck me." I heard him gasp, and although I wasn't looking (at the moment), I saw his dick twitch in response.

"Emmett. Put clothes on," I took a few steps closer, so I was almost touching his torso, "and you might want to take a cold shower, little emmie won't be getting any action." He scrunched his nose, picked me up, and threw me over his shoulder, which put my face in a pretty awkward position – right beside his marvelous ass.

"EMMETT SOMETHING CULLEN-" He interrupted my vociferous scream, "McCarty." And I could tell he was smiling. "EMMETT MCCARTY CULLEN. PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!" I slammed my fists into his back, and I felt the vibrations from his boisterous laughter.

I internally groaned at my wardrobe choice for today. Underneath my mini, I was only wearing a white thong – who wants panty lines? I'm sure he enjoyed the view.

I lifted my head enough to grasp that he was hauling me to my room.

**(A/N: From here…)**

"Rape! RAAAPE!" I jokingly yelled, still ineffectively hitting his muscular back. Had I mentioned how delicious he looked when running? The way the muscles in his back moved smoothly under the skin… mmm.

"Alice, Alice, Alice. You can't rape the willing." He said with an air of arrogance.

"Hmph. How do you know I'd be willing, you big oaf?! And put me down already!" I was screeching, my normally high voice taking the 'I'll-just-scratch-your-ears-into-oblivion-haha!' approach to this matter, since I didn't seem to be doing any good. **(…to here was the single hardest section of this entire story so far to get myself to write. I hate being sick. D: I mean, I'm just having motivation problems at the moment… I wanna sleeeeep. D: It probably took me 2 hours of staring at my laptop for me to get those 10 sentences out. But I love you, my readers. So I shall continue.)**

Emmett practically threw me into my bed. "Of course you'd be willing, _look_ at me." He winked, before disappearing again. What was with him and hide-and-no-seek?

I sighed, drowning in the warm plush of my bed.

Could I forget this whole thing? Could I forget I got drunk, and married Emmett? He was the most gorgeous man I'd ever laid eyes on. I might be able to, after this was all behind me. Maybe…

_**Why have you turned your back on me? **_

_**One day you'll wake up and realize your mistake…**_

"nanananananananana…" I heard a low murmuring, and strained to hear more, without getting up.

"nananNANANANNANANA… BATMAN!" And Emmett burst in, with only black boxers, the yellow 'bat' symbol covering them, and a large black beach towel (even as large as it was, it barely fit) around his neck. His hair was wet, some of the curls sticking to his forehead. I had the urge to push them back, but I resisted. He must've taken up my offer on the cold shower.

I groaned. "Are you always such a brainless oaf?"

He pretended to be in deep thought. "No, it took SOME brainpower to remember how to tie a knot." He replied, sticking his tongue out at me and jumping so his makeshift cape bellowed.

He puffed his chest out, and put a fake solemn face on, "Sorry mam, duty calls." Saluting me, and he was off back into the hallway. And I was… giggling? I mean, it wasn't uncommon for me to be giggling, but in the last 2 days, less and less seemed funny. Except the giant teddy bear/football player somewhere in my apartment who still thought he was a comicbook superhero. I laughed harder, finding sudden immense humor in the situation. Before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face.

Emmett popped his head in, the curls only slightly damp now. I guess running around like a madman is a good form of air circulation. "Hey wifey. So, I got us reservations for dinner tonight… dress up. And be ready by 7." And left without another word, and soon after I heard the door to my apartment slam shut. _I have peace for the next 9 hours!_ I thought with a grin, until his words sunk in. A date? With my husband? Could I manage? I guess I'd have to.

_**In love we're one, inseparable, pathetic lust, thus we crumble,**_

_**I saw your eyes, I wiped your tears, I waited for you...**_

~*~

It was around 5pm when I heard my cell ringing somewhere in my apartment. I heard it playing, 'Don'tcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don'tcha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? Don'tcha!' and had no clue who was calling. Of course, the caller ID read Papabear with that stupid heart beside it. I considered not answering, but I had to face him for our 'date', so what's the worst that could happen?

"Hello?"

"Heeeey Wifey. Howdy do?"

"Um, fine. What'd you need?"

"Bella's single, riiiiight?!"

"Emmett, you're not going to hit on my best friend, right?"

"Nope," He popped his lips on the 'p', "You're the one for me, babe. Now answer the damn question, is Bella single?"

"Yah. I tried to set her up with Jasper once, not the best idea. Why?"

"Bring her along." And with that, the line went dead.

"UGH! So cryptic." I exclaimed, not thinking it was odd to be talking to no one in particular.

I pulled up Bella's name in my contacts (it was first, she made sure to put 23457645 spaces in front of her name) and hit 'sent'. She answered on the second ring.

"'Ello love. What brings ye to my line of communication?" She greeted me.

"You're coming with me tonight."

"You're not setting me up with Jazz again, right Aliiiiiice?"

"Of course not; you'll just have to trust me."

"Obviously I trust you. Where're we going?"

"Uh, I really don't know. Out to eat. Wear something nice."

"Alice. You know I don't like formal things."

"And I care because…?"

"Because I'm your best friend and you love me."

"Next."

"Because I'll fall, and we'll be kicked out of this restaurant, too."

Last time Bella and I had gone to a nice restaurant, within 10 minutes of being there, she fell on a waiter, and broke his leg. We're still banned from that restaurant, and they had insanely good steak. I scowled. "Bells, you will not fall. I will carry you if I have to. But, apparently, you're going." And I hung up. I was in my Porche (canary yellow with black leather interior and tinted windows, obviously) within 2 minutes of hanging up, and I raced to Bella's apartment building, barely 5 blocks away.

I don't know why we didn't just share an apartment; we both knew we could afford a much nicer place if we shared. But we both had a feeling, like we'd miss out on something if we lived together.

It didn't take long to get to her's – it was on the ground floor. I flew in (of course I had a key), and heard the shower running. Perfect planning time. I went into her room, and immediately headed towards her closet, pulling out the little selection she had. I had to suppress a groan, I didn't want to alert her that I was here, but nor did I see anything even remotely close to acceptable for tonight's activities.

But Bella decided to get out of the shower. I wanted to scare her so bad she never wanted to turn the lights out again – like some shit from The Strangers.

She was humming when she came out of the bathroom, towel wrapped in the juncture underneath each arm.

After opening the window in her room, I dove into the closet, curling into a ball behind one of the doors.

Her tune stopped when she got to her room, and she took a moment to survey the damage. 80% of her clothes were strewn across her bed and the floor around it, things were blowing around in the slight wind from outside, and a few drawers in her dresser hung open.

Through the crack in the closet door, I saw her bring her hands to her mouth in a 'who-would-do-something-like-this' gesture, and I stood lithely, not informing her of my presence.

I could tell my moment to act was close when she started edging closer to where I was veiled.

When she turned to open the very door I was masked behind, I stuck my fingers through the slits and started shaking, wild growls and various boisterous noises coming from me. I got what I sought after – Bella screamed loudly, clutching her midsection, and backed away until her knees caught onto the bed and she was sent sprawling backwards onto it.

I started laughing manically, and opened the door to reveal her 'attacker' to her. She still had on a countenance of fear, until she recognized me. "MARY ALICE BRANDON I FUCKING HATE YOU! GET OUT!" She started throwing all the various objects surrounding her at me.

My laughing did not cease. "C'mon Bells, you're too easy." I said, dodging a shoe expertly. I think I could compete with George Bush at that – was there perhaps a competition in shoe-dodging? **(A/N: Ahhahahaha… Sorry Bush fans. :p Obama FTW!)**

"Allllllllllice… You know how much I hate things like that. Ugggh. I bet I hyperventilated or something." Her chest was rising and falling rather quickly.

"I wouldn't doubt it. Plus, this is payback for last night. I recall a certain human being coming to my apartment and stating, 'I was rather _busy_ the night before'?!" I put each hand up, making quotation marks in the air for emphasis.

She giggled, and blushed fervently, and I knew I was forgiven. All was good again.

"You know, I hated that even in that movie. Now it's worse because it actually _happened_. I'll never be able to watch The Strangers again." She pouted playfully.

"Well, I really don't care much for that movie anyways, Bella. So it's okay. By the way, throw on sweats and c'mon. You have nothing here to wear, I'm lending you something." She started to protest, and I put a finger up to her lips to silence her. "No, don't _even_. Now, come."

Within 5 minutes we were in my car, driving back to my apartment building at top speed. Bella's opinions on this were also dismissed.

Finally, we were back in my apartment. I checked my phone, no missed calls.

"Come with me, my dear, back into the closet of woooonder!"

"Alice, I've seen your closet before."

"Awwh, you ruined it!" I stomped my feet lightheartedly, before pulling out a short, blood red dress that looked like it'd fit Bella. She was half a foot taller, and a little bustier than I (but I had a better ass than her, so it evened out), so I made sure not to go TOO extreme with her outfit. She didn't even attempt to nitpick, I'd put her in worse before. I waited for her to change, and was extremely pleased. Not only did it make her legs appear to go on for miles, but the red against her milky skin (we always joked out of the two of us, she was the one that hit the tanning beds more often, since my skin closer resembled albino-esque than her's) was a gorgeous contrast.

"Ugh, Alice. Why do you have so many clothes? And why do they not cover my body?" I giggled, it appeared as though I'd been too quick to say she wasn't going to complain. "Bella, it falls MAYBE 4 inches above your knee. No, the small slit up your side does not count, you cannot see anything. And you'll be wearing these shoes," I held out a shiny black pair of heels (they didn't have that much height to them), "and if you choose to whine, I will find worse." And she shut up.

For myself, I chose a black dress, that was a little more tempting than Bella's, and barely came past my ass. Good thing I had a surplus of thongs, I refused to be seen with a panty line, even after my little 'show' to Emmett earlier. It had a deep V-neck, as to where Bella's sortof wrapped around her upper body, smushing her boobs together. The color matched the shade of my hair (which had been spiked, my make-up on the conservative side – some eyeliner, mascara, and red lipstick. My skin didn't need foundation, thankfully), and my shoes were silver pumps, with a 3" heel. I did Bella's hair in an elegant updo, a few curled pieces hanging down in front.

"Dayum… DAYUM… can I talk to you fo' a minute?" I called at her, laughing. That video on YouTube cracked me and Bella up for a week**. (A/N: If you don't know what I'm referring to; type in 'Can I have yo number' in YouTube. It's a skit from MadTV.) **The best thing for Bella about wearing my clothes was that since the dresses were bought for me, it increased her cleavage by squeezing her sisters into oblivion. She didn't mind, really.

After what seemed like forever, I heard a loud knock on my door.

"Who is it?" I called from the bathroom, applying a third squirt of hairspray to Bella's head.

"The male stripper you lovely ladies ordered!" I heard Emmett scream. As if Mrs. Laudick next door didn't hate me enough.

I quickly got the door, and had flowers shove in my face. "HAPPY TWO DAY ANNIVERSARY MY HONEY BUNCHES OF OATS!" He boomed, and I'm sure Mrs. Laudick heard THAT outburst even if she hadn't put in her hearing aid today.

"Uh, thanks for the roses, Em." I didn't tell him how ecstatic I was, they were even yellow. He remembered my favorite color. I'd never been given flowers before. I quickly put the dozen aromatic roses in a glass with water, never wanting them to die.

"C'mon, Bells! Ride's here!" Bella stepped out, but I don't think Emmett's eyes ever left my body.

Emmett: 1; Self-Consciousness: 0.

"So, Emmett, why're we bringing the virgin with us?" I had called Bella 'the virgin' since college, since obviously she wasn't, but she so often looked like one, what with the blushing and all.

He raised one eyebrow incredulously. "Virgin? From what I saw on that delicious tape today, she is _not_ innocent." I giggled, Bella had returned to her usual beaming-red self. She angerly stuttered, "Y-you showed h-him the t-tape? I thought y-you didn't even l-like him!" Which made me laugh harder.

"No dear, he found it. I reacted in the same fashion as you, no worries." I was over it, what happened in my past happened, no use regretting it.

"To answer your question wifey, Bella has a shexy date." I clapped; she hadn't been out in ages. She needed this. Her face wasn't one of excitement though. She really was a buzz kill sometimes. "Cheer up, Bells. If it doesn't go well, we'll go out drinking afterwards and get totally shit-faced. How's that sound?"

She replied with a smug smile, "As long as you don't let _me_ get married!" and ran out the door.

Until we heard a loud _thump_! from the hallway. We stepped out, to find Bella in a heap on the ground.

"Isabella Marie Swan. If you break those heels, I will slip pills into your drink, wait until you're knocked out, chop off a leg, sell your flesh to some cannibal on eBay – I'm sure the freaks are out there – and replace the shoes. Are we clear?"

The only reaction was a slight head nod, and a scared expression. I held in my giggles.

I turned to grab the key to my apartment, I didn't want to lock myself out (even if Bella had a key), but it wasn't on the hook. I cocked my head to the side, looking around for it.

I heard laughter behind me, and turned to see Emmett digging in his pocket. After a moment, he pulled out my small, silver apartment key.

"You stole a key to my apartment?!"

"I'll make you a new one!" He whined, but shoved the key back into his pocket, and I shut my door (of course locking it, who knows how far Mrs. Laudick would go to get back at me since I corrupted her senile mind.

"Emmett, who's my date?" Bella wondered out loud as we waited on the excruciatingly slow elevators.

"You'll see." Was his cryptic answer, his face carrying a grin that reminded me of the Cheshire **(A/N: I'm sure I didn't spell that right. :/.)** cat.

We got outside (finally) to discover Emmett had driven his vehicle of choice, a humongous Jeep. I'm sure Bella and I had matching astounded expressions.

We walked up to the side, and I noticed I could barely reach the door handle. I tapped my foot angrily. "This is an Emmett-sized vehicle. NOT made for those of us less than five feet tall!" I yelled, before Emmett's large hands wrapped around my waist, depositing me into my designated place – the passenger seat. I smiled in victory, (and hadn't missed his wandering eyes as he lifted me), but I was already missing the feel of his warm hands.

Emmett: 2; Self-Consciousness: 0.

_Alice. Get a grip; you don't want him._ I repeatedly told myself.

Bella was helped into the back seat, she needed even more help than I.

I looked into the back, wondering who Bella would be accompanying this evening.

A hand was held out for Bella to shake, "Hello. I'm James, your date for this evening." And he kissed the back of her palm.

She giggled, and re-reddened, which caused me to sigh. Poor virgin-like Bella.

Emmett climbed in finally, revving the engine menacingly.

"So, where're we headed anyways?" I asked Emmett, touching up my hair in the fold out mirror.

"That new restaurant across town, Eclipse." He grinned from ear-to-ear. I'd have to grill him about how he got reservations in so fast, last time Bella and I had called there was a four month waiting list.

I had a feeling we were in for an unorthodox date, and strangely, I was more excited than I had been in awhile.

* * *

**A/N: I've decided you readers need a little inspiration to review; since I've had 168 visitors, and only 8 reviews.**

**Review inspiration: Emmett naked, throwing you on the bed… delicious. :)**

**I even made this chapter longer. ;_; 9 entire pages of story, not including Author's notes.**

**Please, don't be annoyed with the drama so far. It's a little angsty for me right now – I'd rather write smut/fluff any day. But, to get to the smut/fluff, I need to get this out. This is how I have it planned in my head, and whilst it may be edited depending on the reader's opinions (if you ever choose to review -_-), it will have the same major plot points. No, I'm not guaranteeing Alice and Emmett will ever sex it up. But, Bella's going to get her guy. (Haha, which brings me to, how many of you thought her date would be Edward? Be honest! I couldn't make it that easy, pfft.) Sexytimes will ensue. Fosho. Hahah. XD**

**So, love me, love me, say that you love me! (Do you loverly people prefer that song (Lovefool) by the Cardigans or New Found Glory? I think I like the original (Cardigans) version better… I can't decide. :D)**

**And so you know, I'm better. Anti-biotics do wonders. Only a day late, thanks to me writing this the majority of the day. I've edited this so much; it doesn't even resemble my first draft of this chapter, haha. I'll stop rambling now… no one reads author's notes anyway. Haha. ENJOY! :D**


	4. Dates Forgotten, Jizzing, and Injuries

**A/N: I had fun with this chapter... hehe. XD And it's in more than one POV this time (I'm switchin' it up, yo!)… guess who! Haha.)**

**And, this chapter can be controversial for die-hard Twilight fans. I really dislike a certain character in the book, and it's apparent starting now. And, my take on Edward isn't as… refined as Meyer's version. I think he should be more of a bad ass, so in my story, he is. Tough shit.**

**If I haven't said it already, I also think Meyer's Bella is a whiny bitch. So, I made her a porn star and gave her a little more balls. Like with Edward, tough shit.**

**Ps- I have no interest in football (well, besides playing it. I kickass.); and I'm not going to anytime in the near future. SO, I made up a football team. Baha, oh well. Ennnnnjoy.**

**Pps- I can't stay away from the smut… so if you really don't want to read it, skip the part I have pointed out in this chapter. :)**

* * *

**Many Shades Of Black**

**Ch. 4:**

Chapter In Which Dates Are Forgotten, Pants Are Jizzed, And Injuries Transpire.

**Song(s):**

**(I can't find any. D:) Uh…** Fall For You – Secondhand Serenade**… I guess…**

* * *

"_So, where're we headed anyways?" I asked Emmett, touching up my hair in the fold out mirror._

"_That new restaurant across town, Eclipse." He grinned from ear-to-ear. I'd have to grill him about how he got reservations in so fast, last time Bella and I had called there was a four month waiting list._

_I had a feeling we were in for an unorthodox date, and strangely, I was more excited than I had been in awhile._

**-Alice's POV-**

"So, James, how d'you and Emmett know each other?" Bella started awkwardly; as Emmett sped down the road at a speed I approved of. Bella… not so much.

"I'm on the Seattle Seahawks, too." He replied, grinning widely. I rolled my eyes, football was so pointless. I decided to voice that opinion. "What's the _point_ of football? You throw a piece of leather around, and hit each other for said scrap. Doesn't sound enjoyable."

I was met with 2 pair of wide eyes, and Bella holding her hand over her mouth to hold in the giggles that were obviously trying to erupt.

"Football is an important part of American life! And it's not 'leather'! It's a FOOTBALL."

"I do not _hit_ men; I tackle them. And there's much more to the sport than that…"  
"_Aliiiiiice_, you don't say that in a car full of muscular football-playing men that can kick your ass!"

I heard all at once. I decided to disregard the chatter, and state the obvious.

"Just go shopping. Burns as many calories, with much less sweat, and you have new clothes afterwards."

Once again, 2 pair of wide eyes stared back at me.

"Whaaaaaaaat?!" I said back, puffing out my lower lip and crossing my arms, grumbling. _Pfft, men._

After a few minutes of unnerving silence, we were all startled by Emmett's proclamation, "WE'RE HEREEEE!" And shot into a parking space near the back of the lot. I noticed there were only 2 spaces open after we parked; it was crammed. I glanced at the clock – 7:29pm.

I was already enthusiastic about tonight; I hoped we'd go dancing afterwards. It was no wonder Bella always was such a Debbie Downer; she needed to drink more often.

Em helped me out of the gargantuan green jeep, his hand lingering on my leg longer than necessary. I heard Bella's timorous scream as James helped her out of the other side – she's such a priss.

We hurried inside to keep out of the January chill, and were met with the most gorgeous restaurant I'd ever seen. When you walked inside, the restrooms were discreetly placed to the right, in a little nook. The register was behind a half-wall that had a lattice carving throughout the bottom, and the place had a winery-ish theme. The walls were a light brown wood, with circular carvings. The floor was dark purple tile, with a gritty texture. Different sections were separated with half-walls, the same lattice pattern as the half-wall holding the register.

"Emmett, this place is amazing! It's probably expensive though, I doubt I can afford it." I said, worry creeping into my tone. He rubbed my shoulder reassuringly, "I'm paying for you, wifey. No worries!"

I gaped at him. "No, no, no, no, no. No! It's too much." I turned around, with every intention of leaving.

But, Emmett wasn't having that. "Honey, come back. I didn't want to tell you, but I might, kindof, co-own Eclipse. It's on the house." I turned in place.

"Come again?" I couldn't fathom a male creating this stunning place.

"My brother, Edward, and I own this here establishment." He said, knocking on the wall. "So, I don't have to pay, therefore neither do you, Bella, or James." He finished with a large grin.

_**Best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting,**_

_**Could it be that we have been this way before?**_

I glanced over at Bella and James, in deep discussion, waiting for someone to seat us. I had forgotten about their existence in my brief rant.

Emmett found something in my face comical, because suddenly his booming laugh filled my ears.

I rolled my eyes, and walked back over to Bella and James, who were talking about occupations.

"…yah, I work in the porn industry… did I just say that out loud? Oops…" I heard Bella say. That's a mental face palm. While I found a job editing children's books after college for LittleAngels Book Company, Bella liked the pay in BigTease Productions, so she stayed. Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

James didn't make it a big deal, however. "Oh? Hm. What have you been in?" Bella's expression lightened at this; it was one of her worst fears to have a guy not give her a chance because of her job.

Something about James just seemed… off to me, though. Even if he was okay with Bella's body being shown to others on TV, maybe he liked it too much. He gave off a serious creeper vibe. But, whatever made Bella happy, I suppose.

They went back off into a conversation about different movies she'd been in, and which he had seen.

Finally, a gorgeous man with shaggy bronze hair that fell sinuously over his smoldering green eyes came to seat us. He was almost as handsome as Emmett. Looking over at Bella, I could tell she noticed his looks, too. He stared straight at her all the way to our table, and after we were seated (Emmett and I on one side of the table, Bella and James on the other), he gave us each a menu, and spoke straight to Bella while asking for our drink order.

She stared at the waiter still, not comprehending what he had asked. "Bella, drink order?" I kicked her under the table, hoping she'd hear _me_ at least.

She stuttered, "A w-water with lem-mon, please," which gave away her infatuation. Now that I could see James in light, he wasn't bad himself. His long dirty blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and he had some stubble. But, I would sex up the waiter over James any day, and my date took the award for sexiest man alive.

The rest of us gave our drinks soon after, James starting and then finishing with me and Emmett. When the bronze-haired man left, Emmett spoke up. "Guys, that's my brother, Eddie. Don't call him that though, he might hurt you. His real name is Edward. He's engaged, to be married to Rosalie." His words were full of loathing, and Bella took notice, her eyes (slightly glazed over just from their previous eye contact) snapping to attention. I leaned back, 'tsk'ing her in my head.

**-Bella's POV-**

_Oh. My. God. Who is that gorgeous man leading us? Can he take them to a table and find us a bed? Or a wall, that'd work just as well. Mmmm wall sex with Mr. Mystery Waiter. I'll have to get his name, so I can scream it…_

My thoughts trailed off as we sat. Suddenly, I had no interest in the man sitting next to me. He wasn't ugly by any means, but the Greek god standing beside me (was he sporting a boner? Damn waiter aprons… I couldn't tell) overshadowed everyone else.

Only after a few seconds of everyone staring at me, did I realize he asked a question. "Bella, drink order?" Alice gladly brought me back to Earth, along with a bruise to the shin. I blinked, trying to get words to come out. "A w-water with lem-mon, please," I managed to get out. _Brilliant, Bella. He thinks you're an inept moron. /facepalm._

I only heard Emmett's next words in the back of my mind, until 'to be married' was spoken. Suddenly, the room was spinning, and I focused on Emmett. Of course, _Edward_ was already taken. He was 12 shades of dazzling, and was probably awesome in bed.

Alice's idea of getting shit-faced was sounding very good right about now. _Did I just willingly commend an idea of Alice's? Something's truly wrong with me._

**-Edward's POV-**

_Tonight blows. I'm stuck working. Emmett and I have no need to work, we're the owners. We supervise, and get the cash. So why the fuck am I serving people? Oh yah, because that bitch Victoria called in 'sick'. She's probably just out fucking Mike. I need to put a post-it somewhere where she'll see it… 'Doctor called, your herpes test came back positive'… I have better things to do! I could be at my apartment, drinking with Rosalie, and trying to keep her out of my pants. HA, who am I kidding, she wouldn't be out for long…_

And then _she_ walked in. The brunette beauty that made me lose every coherent thought. I wanted to bend her over right then and there and fuck her to Monday and back. …And now I'm hard. Thanks, fantasies.

I escorted them to a table, making sure they were in my designated section. I didn't want this woman out of my sight for long.

She seemed to be infatuated with me as well, however, for when I asked for drinks (staring at her), she only stared vacantly in response. I suppressed a chuckle, as her small friend said "Bella, drink order?" _Ahh, so I know her name now. Bella, it's fitting. Sexy as hell, just like she is._

"A w-water with lem-mon, please." She was gorgeous when she stuttered. More so than usual, that is.

And then the man beside her spoke. I thought I might growl, when I realized they were here, _together_. Images of me ripping his body limb from limb flew to mind, and sounded very appealing.

_Get yourself together, Edward. She's one girl, and can't compare to the sex goddess Rosalie you have waiting… who am I kidding? I bet Bella is twenty times better in bed. Hm, we could find out. Just follow me, Bella…_ My mind screamed to tell her to get up, come for a walk, but I knew I couldn't. I'd probably regret it though.

I absent-mindedly took the little woman and large man's orders, before storming off back to the kitchen.

I was sure my thoughts would be on Bella, and things those wonderful lips of hers could do, all night.

**-Alice's POV-**

Emmett, Emmett, Emmett.

Why did I agree to this again? Oh yah, because he's sexy and I saw him naked today. Damn you, hormones.

As I scanned the mostly Italian menu **(A/N: Sorry, this is me mocking the food in Twilight. XD Anyone else notice they always eat Italian in the book? Lol.)**, his hand was making slow circles on my leg, starting at my knee, and getting closer to the juncture between my legs with each circle. After about 8 of these, his fingertips went under my dress just a little, but it was enough to make me jump slightly.

Emmett: 3; Self-Consciousness: 0. I should really work on that.

During this little tease, we were discussing movies. I INSISTED that The Notebook was better than A Walk To Remember and P.S. I Love You, but Bells and Em had different opinions.

"P.S. I Love You is the only click flick I can watch, Ali! C'mon, you know it's the best."

"I will not dignify you with a response unless you can use my full name, Emmie!"  
"Both of you are wrong! A Walk To Remember is _by far_ the best chick flick."

Through our bickering, James didn't say one word. He looked anxious, almost.

In the middle of me yelling at everyone that The Notebook pwned, Edward came back with our drinks. Bella lit up – she wouldn't be bothering me about chick flicks for awhile.

"Here you go, Be- miss." He said, putting Bella's lemon water in front of her with extra care, and shoving James, Emmett's, and my drinks at us.

"Ready to order?" He said absent-mindedly. It seemed Emmett was the more outgoing of the two.

Bella spoke almost instantly. "I'll have a medium fettuccini alfredo with an extra garlic bread." I was taken aback, I never saw her so much as open her menu.

James went second, "I'll take the chicken parmesan."

I opened my mouth to speak, but Em cut me off. "We'll have the extra-large shrimp penne, to share, please." I glared at him, even though that's what I was going to order in the first place.

_**Tonight will be the night**_

_**That I will fall for you, over again,**_

_**Don't make me change my mind…**_

"Do you need anything else, perhaps?" The waiter was once again staring intently at Bella.

"No, I think we're good." I spoke up, since everyone else was silent.

"Hm. Call me if you need anything." It was either my imagination, or Edward sounded defeated. I'd have to ask Bella. But, before I got a chance, she exclaimed she had to pee, and ran towards the front of the restaurant where the kitchen/counter/bathrooms were.

After she left, conversation died down a bit. Emmett's hand was still making those damned circles on my leg, and James didn't have much to talk about without Bella here. So, I decided to make conversation on a topic I truly had no interest in – football.

"Is your team like, good at football?"

James and Emmett locked eyes for a mere moment, and James answered.

"Of course we are. Would I hang out with Emmett outside of mandatory football practices and games if we didn't?" And lightly punched Em in the arm.

"Ali, you are coming to our next game. Or, if I can't get you a ticket on short notice, you'll have to watch it on the telly, mmmmkay?"

I held in the groan. "Okay, I guess. But only if you agree to go shopping with me!"

Emmett's huge smile told me I did something wrong. …like ask him out for a second date, in essence. Shit.

"Fine, babe, whaaatever you say." And that satisfied smile remained.

_**Because a girl like you is impossible to find,**_

_**You're impossible to find…**_

I rolled my eyes, but my mind was racing, thinking of all the possibilities. I'd never said what kind of shopping, nor where, nor had I mentioned if anyone else was attending.

"So, Alice, what do you do for a living?" James said, placing his head in his hands.

"I edit bo-" And, for the second time tonight, Em cut me off. "She edits books at LittleAngels Book Company, y'know the children's books?"

I turned to him, raising an eyebrow. I was sure I hadn't told him that, I probably wouldn't even remember that in my drunken state. "That one I learned on my own. I was looking at books on the LittleAngels website for a teammate's little girl's birthday coming up soon, and it lists the staff members at the top of the page." And his glorious dimpled smile got bigger. Would he ever stop smiling?

From the corner of my eye (My line of sight was still magnetized to Emmett's face), I saw James start fidgeting with his phone. In the back of my mind, I thought of how rude it was to text during a date, even if Bella wasn't there at the moment.

…where was Bella? "James, what time is it?"

"It's… 7:51. I'm calling Bella's phone." He replied, his face full of concern, although his eyes didn't quite match his countenance. He held the sleek silver device up to his ear for a moment, and after about 30 seconds, hung up. "No answer."

I climbed over the hulk of Emmett, stood up to go look for her, turned, and ran straight into… Bella? "Where the hell were you?!"

"I told you, I had to pee." She was trying to smooth her dress, and did her lips look puffy? What the fuck happened in that bathroom?

**-Bella's POV-**

"_No, I think we're good."_ I could've smacked Alice. Hell no, we're not 'good'. Anything to make that god stay at our table.

But, alas, he left. So the only sane way to go about getting him back? Going after him, of course.

I quickly said some BS about using the bathroom, and ran up to the counter, catching him right as he had finished placing our food orders, before he went into the kitchen. "Edward!" I tried to say quietly, but failed. It came out as a strangled yell.

He turned around slowly, curiosity and hope plain on his features. "Bella?" He walked over to me.

"Well, hello… Eddie." I giggled. I was such a little girl. "God, Bella, would you hold it against me if I said you following me is the highlight of my day?"

"Only if you would hold it against me if I said following you was the highlight of pretty much my life." I looked down at my hands, and played with my fingers. "I'm not normally like this. I don't just follow random sexilicious men and stalk them, hoping to catch them before they have to work-" He put a finger to my lips.

"Bella. I have wanted to, pardon my crudeness, jump you all night. Since I saw you, before leading you to your table. But you have James. And… I have Rosalie." He looked, almost, pained. "As much as I hate this, and I really fucking hate this, we can't. Anything."

I could feel my eyes watering up, and my almost-tears spurred confidence. "Follow me. And," I pulled a random scarf off of the coat rack; I'd return it later, "Keep this around your eyes. No peeking!"

I folded the floral scarf, then tied it around his head so it covered his eyes. "Can you see?"

"Not even your beautiful face."

"Good." I guided him hurriedly, who knew what people would imagine if they saw us, into the small Women's bathroom, sliding the little bolt closed. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I attacked his mouth.

Our lips met passionately, and it was like an inferno happened in my body. My hands went to his hair – careful not to pull off the make-shift blindfold – and latched onto the bronze locks, while I felt his pull my lower half closer to his. Our tongues fought for dominance, his winning easily. I could feel his growing hardness grinding into me, and figured the least I could do is help him out with his 'problem'.

**(A/N: If you don't want to read smut – skip this paragraph)**

Before he could stop me, I reached under his waiter's apron, unbuttoned and unzipped his slacks, but left them up around his waist, and snaked my hand into his plaid boxers. He gasped into my mouth – I knew I was good at this. I _was_ in the porn business, afterall. I swirled the precum already forming around the head, and slid my hand down to the base slowly. He was so… _big_! I picked up the speed a little, descending on his cock more vigorously. He started thrusting into my hand, and I could feel him throb. He was getting close, and I smiled around his lips at my job well-done. I took my other hang from his hair, and messed with his balls a little through his boxers and he came undone. With a long moan, squirt after squirt of his hot cum got on my hand and in his pants. He looked even more heavenly during an orgasm than he did normally. I removed my hand, still grinning.

**(Smut over. If you're a smut-liker, review and you'll get a full lemon soon. WINK WINK.)**

"How was that for 'We can't. Anything'?" I asked, turning to the sink and washing my hands.

"That was the best 'nothing' of my life." He replied, taking the blindfold from his face.

"Auh, my pants are a mess, Bella!" He groaned, removing his shoes, apron, pants, and boxers. He threw the boxers in the garbage (I snickered at the thought of the next little girl throwing away a paper towel and seeing THOSE.), quickly cleaned himself, and got dressed again. "No repeat performances; those were the only pair of boxers I brought to work tonight." He winked.

"Fine, I'll resist." I said, laughing.

And that's when my phone rang. I pulled the rectangular bulky blackberry out of my pocket (it was given to me by my company – I would never've picked out such a complicated device) and read 'James Mallory' (international Caller ID for $4/month pays off in times like these, eh?) on my screen. I shoved the phone back into my pocket, trying to make myself more presentable. "Sorry to please and run, Edward, but life calls." And I sprinted from the bathroom, well, as fast as these heels would allow, back to where Alice, James, and Emmett were waiting for me.

In my haste, I didn't notice Alice turning around, and almost collided with her.

"Where the hell were you?!"

"I told you, I had to pee." I said, dismissing the subject, and sat down.

**-Alice's POV-**

Perplexed, I climbed back over Emmett and sat back down. It was obvious I was never going to get an explanation here, in front of the men, so I decided to wait to grill her until later.

After an eternity of waiting, Edward at last brought us our food. Delightfully, he brought Emmett and my food in a single bowl, forcing us to scoot closer together and share. When he brought his fork up to my mouth, and tried to feed me, however, that's when it crossed the line. I raised one eyebrow with a smirk, "I can feed myself. I'm a strong girl." And stuffed a bite into my face.

We were mostly quiet while eating, the food was delicious. I would have to remember to ask Emmett later where the cooks were from and if I may pilfer them for a bit.

Edward returned, sharing a look with Bella, asking if we wanted desert. I was about to tell him to return with the bill (before remembering we need not pay), but for the _third_ time that night, Emmett cut me off.

Standing up, he whispered something in Edward's ear, and Edward smiled and left. Emmett sat down, a content look about his face. I inquired about what he had said, but all I got in reply was "You'll see soon enough, babe."

Bella and James exchanged some small talk about the weather, clothing, and choice of music, but Emmett stayed silent until Edward arrived with a plate, a small-ish piece of brown, moist-looking cake with white flakes covering the top, sitting on it.

Emmett expressed his thanks, and sat the plate in front of me. He waited a few seconds for me to discover what delicacy sat there, and when I stared at it blankly, he spoke up.

"Do you know what this is?" I shook my head.

"This, is a homemade piece of chocolate cake, with coconut shavings adorning the top, just like your grandma used to make. I remembered how much you liked it, and one of the chefs in yonder kitchen had a recipe." Eyes watering at his sweetness, I took a bite. It tasted even better than I remembered. "And the best part, wifey, is that you are the first taste-taster of the Cullen Coconut – Chocolate Cake, soon on the Eclipse menu for $4.99 a slice."

Hearing this, the tears fell down my face, and I hugged Emmett as hard as my little arms could manage.

But, the moment didn't last long, because soon Bella wanted a bite, and my cake was gone before I knew it.

I stood to signify Emmett, Bella, and James should get up as well, but Emmett didn't budge. I tried climbing over him, again, but he grabbed my foot. I punched him repeatedly, and he finally let go. But, I was still resisting when he let go, so I flew onto the gritty purple tile floor directly on my right forearm, followed by my forehead soon after. I'm sure Bella, Em, and James (Bella and James had gotten up by now) heard the sickening _CRUNCH _my bone made as it shattered against the tile, and the _THUD_ of my head colliding. Emmett swooped down, cradling my body in his arms. I was screaming, but I could barely hear it.

The edge of my vision was starting to blur from my tears, and spots in my eyesight started to go black. Going into shock, was that what they called it? I couldn't recall. The last thing I heard before unconsciousness overtook me, was Emmett yelling, "EDWARD! Get my jeep! I'm faster than an ambulance!"

* * *

**A/N: How'd you like this chapter? Am I keeping up with the drama? Haha.**

**SO SO SORRY about the delay! It's been what, 3 weeks since I last posted? Ah! Sorry. My laptop crashed, deleting this chapter. I tried to get it back to its former brilliance, but it's still not up to par. Ugh. It is longer though, 10 pages of story! Review, eh?? Ehh???**

**And then, my laptop cord broke. Which really puts a damper on writing. I promise I won't wait this long to update anymore, though! :D**

**Review inspiration: Emmett making dessert for you, WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE. Haha. ;) **

**Enjoy?**


	5. DISCLAIMER:

**A/N:**

**SHIT. I forgot about that disclaimer thing-y. :/**

**PERMANENT DISCLAIMER: I own none of Twilight. None of these glorious characters are mine, unfortunately. All I can claim are the embarrassing things I make them endure while taking part in my stories. Kthnxbai. **

**Xoxo,  
Courtney.**


	6. Dreams, Arrangements, Serenades part 1

**(A/N) I definitely do not enjoy this chapter. I don't know why. It just doesn't click. Ugh. :/**

**WARNING: SMUT. If you do not wish to read the smut, skip the italicized part (not the beginning where it's re-stating the last part of last chapter, but the italics after that). You will want to kill me though… hahahah…**

* * *

**Many Shades Of Black**

**Ch. 5 (part one):**

Chapter In Which Dreams Are Dreamt, Living Arrangements Are Decided Upon, And Alice Is Serenaded.

**Song(s):**

Sirens – Angels And Airwaves (favorite band ever, so you're aware. ;) )

* * *

_I was still resisting when he let go, so I flew onto the gritty purple tile floor directly on my right forearm, followed by my forehead soon after. I'm sure Bella, Em, and James (Bella and James had gotten up by now) heard the sickening CRUNCH my bone made as it shattered against the tile, and the THUD of my head colliding. Emmett swooped down, cradling my body in his arms. I was screaming, but I could barely hear it. _

_The edge of my vision was starting to blur from my tears, and spots in my eyesight started to go black. Going into shock, was that what they called it? I couldn't recall. The last thing I heard before unconsciousness overtook me, was Emmett yelling, "EDWARD! Get my jeep! I'm faster than an ambulance!"_

~*~

Sane people would dream of sane things while unconscious.

Me? Sane? Hell no. Which could possibly explain while I had the most erotic dream I'd ever had – of Emmett and I. While unconscious. From falling from his embrace to the floor of his restaurant. See the pattern? Unfortunately, I did.

I was used to Emmett's presence. I shouldn't be. I wanted him gone, forever. Why couldn't he grant me that?

I couldn't open my eyes; it would take too much effort. I felt like lead weights sat on them, just daring me to try to move. So; I sat completely still. I could feel his presence sitting there beside me. And from the utter stillness, I'd bet he'd been sitting there awhile.

Then footsteps, coming into the room. I almost stirred, then remembered the lead weights that were surely pressing on my body.

"Do you think it's time for more medicine already?"  
"Yah, she's waking up. I see movement." I could hear his deep voice crack from its lack of use.

The footsteps came right up to my bed, and I heard a sick draining sound, and then the steps (I'm sure they were a nurse's) retreated from the room.

The weights got heavier, and soon I couldn't tell where I was, drifting towards the magic of sleep…

_The weights were gone, and I felt amazing. I could open my eyes, and what I saw was perfect. I was at the beach, on a sunny day, not too hot but definitely not chilly. The waves were settling down, keeping a steady shoreline. The perfect-ness even went as deep as there were none of those annoying seagulls to cah-caw and ruin the peace._

_I scanned the shore, looking for any imperfections. Instead, I saw the makeshift lifeguard running towards me. I smiled brightly, and noticed his smile reflecting mine. In seconds, he was to me, his strong arms lifting me from the sand. My legs wrapped around his lower torso like we embraced like this regularly, our mouths meeting with the force of planets colliding._

_His rough lips moved over mine in a way that made me burn, like an inferno had come alive inside of me. My hands tangled in his curly locks, his tongue asking permission to enter. I gladly obliged, and we fought for dominance. I could feel his twitching member through his red swim shorts, but we would have time for that later. For right now we were just enjoying each other. Kissing like this was as easy as breathing, normal._

_Slowly, he laid us down on the warm sand, his warmth hovering over my small body. Our kisses became more urgent, quicker, and full of lust and desire. His swim shorts were tented by this point, and my bikini bottoms were soaked through. He had that instant effect on me._

_His large hands made quick work of my skimpy top, throwing it to the sand somewhere near us. Emmett's mouth latched onto one hardened nipple, his tongue swirling around it, sucking gently. I moaned loudly, taking in the delicious tingling building in my lower half. His hand found my other breast, kneading it roughly, before switching._

"_Ali, what do you want me to do?"  
"I want you in me – now." I was demanding while high on desire._

_Emmett smirked for a moment, and grunted, holding himself up on his elbows to keep from crushing me._

_Not wanting to wait any longer, I yanked his swim shorts down, revealing his long, think cock. I must've been staring in anticipation, because Emmett quickly shoved my bikini bottoms down my legs, and I kicked them off. We were both completely naked, but we'd already seen each other in passing, it wasn't really anything new._

"_Aw, babe, you're so _wet_ for me..." He trailed off, staring with half-lidded eyes at my gleaming pussy. I giggled a little, and reached up to plant a kiss on his beautiful mouth. As our lips met, his hips came forward, and the tip of his dick caressed my cunt. I moaned loudly into his mouth, spurring him on, and he slid hilt-deep into me in one swift motion._

_It was like a sundae make with the best ingredients given to you during the best massage of your life, in heaven. Like we were made to be this way forever, joined as one. I quickly adjusted to his size, and wanted, needed more. "Harder, faster!" I encouraged, and he complied, gaining speed with his thrusts._

_I could feel the coil building pressure in my lower abdomen, my release approaching._

_Suddenly, Emmett stopped moving. I was very flustered, and all he said was, "Time to wake up, honey. Time to wake up…"_

As I came back to awareness, I was acutely aware of one fact: my extreme horniness. The dream got me going, and the big oaf now in front of me was to blame. What was _with_ me and these dreams?

"You awake?" Emmett jumped, shaking me roughly.

"Whoa, calm down, turbo." He let go of my bed, but was still jumping. "I've been at this hospital for 8 days, babe. You don't know how long we've waited for you to wake up!"

A red flag jumped in my mind. _8 days?!_ I did the mental math; it was January 4th when Emmett took me to his restaurant… so it must be January 12th now. Oh my.

"I was unconscious for 8 days?! Why? You couldn't've stayed, you have football, and I have a job, well _had_ a job… I'm sure when I didn't show up for a WEEK they fired me, oh my, where're Bells and Jazzy? They have to be worried sick…-"

"Hon, babe, wifey, calm down. I told coach that you were in here and I was allowed to miss the two games I had this week. I don't need practice anyways," he winked, "Bella and Jasper and James came to the hospital with me, but they didn't have the patience that I did, and went home. I told them I'd call them when we got home. And, I also found the number for LittleAngels publishing office, and called and explained what happened." He was beaming.

Suddenly, before I could ask anything further, a handsome blonde doctor appeared. "Hello, Miss Cullen, I'm Carlisle. You were very lucky your concussion wasn't worse. We would've had to knock you out for longer. Thankfully, my son got you here very quickly," he shot a stern look at Emmett, who shrugged, smiling, "and we could treat you immediately. You have a cast on your right arm; it broke in two places, and suffered a minor concussion. If you have any memory loss, or thinking becomes strenuous, be sure to call us, and we'll see you as soon as possible."

All this rushed in my head, but one thing stuck out. "…son? You don't look old enough to be Emmett's father."

The doctor laughed, running one slender hand through his golden hair. "Yes, my son. My wife, Esme, and I adopted Emmett and Edward in college. I'm 47," another chuckle, "Welcome to the family." He smiled welcomely.

I wasn't sure of the look on my face, but I was sure it was a smile like everyone else in my hospital room. "So, you're not mad about… about our situation?" I couldn't bring myself to say 'our marriage'.

He chuckled. "No, no, of course not. Emmett's crazy about you. Esme and I are actually hoping you'll do good for Emmett. Unlike my other son's fiancée is doing for him…" A scowl graced his features.

"Aw, c'mon Dad. No bashing Rosalie now." Emmett laughed; apparently he wasn't the only one with distaste for her.

"Not to be pushy, but when can I leave?" Carlisle laughed, his countenance lightening. "Actually, you can leave today. If, that is, you're feeling better?"

I nodded vigorously, ready to be home; since my dream left me before I was ready for it to be over, I also needed to 'take care of some things'. "Then I'll help you out of these wires, and we'll be on our way!"

One outfit, two hours, and four needles later, I was in Emmett's jeep on the way to my apartment.

"Um, beautiful, I have a small surprise for you…" Emmett spoke up, looking at me instead of the road.

I glared back. "What kindof surprise?"

We turned the corner, and my apartment building came into view. Along with the moving truck sitting in the parking lot beside it. "Surprise! I told you your apartment was too small."

I felt my face heating up. "Emmett McCarty Cullen! If I did not want to marry you, why on Earth would I want to leave my apartment to live with you?!"

Emmett's smile never faltered. "Well, babe, you really don't have a choice. I thought we were getting along," his puppy-dog pout came to his face, "annnnd, I paid off your apartment. And already went through the motions of finding someone TO fill your apartment. So, unless you want to live in a box on the road, I'm your only option." I hmph-ed. This was a lose-lose situation. I had no apartment anymore. I _could_ move in with Bella, but she had guys over all the time, and I was sure James wouldn't be an exception. While I was thinking through the alternatives, Emmett spoke up again. "By the way, I threw out your vibrator. I figured if you were flustered enough – you talk in your sleep, did you know that? – you'd come to me for some _help_." And wagged his beautifully sculpted eyebrows at me.

I turned red. "EMMETT! I want my apartment back, I want my life back, but most of all, I want my rabbit back!"

* * *

**(A/N) Sorry this is taking so long, this is only one half of this chapter! I'll have the next half posted tomorrow, or the day after, and Star Crossed posted soon after! :)**


	7. Dreams, Arrangements, Serenades part 2

**(A/N) [Please read. (: ] Mmk, sorry I've been updating so slowly lately. Life is catching up with me. :/ I really do hate this. I'm taking some advanced classes though, and I'm driving a lot more now, so it's difficult. I hope you guys understand. And, as many others, I was very depressed when I heard about Daddy's Little Cannibal. So I took a break. I'm sure you can fathom why. And, even when I do find time to write, I find myself leaning towards Star Crossed. I'm biased towards my own stories. XD How sad. If you've stuck with me, thanks. It means a lot. But just realize that Star Crossed will probably be updated more often than this story once summer starts, this weekend. (:**

* * *

**Many Shades Of Black**

* * *

**Ch. 5 (part two):**

Chapter In Which Dreams Are Dreamt, Living Arrangements Are Decided Upon, And Alice Is Serenaded (...sort of).

* * *

**Song(s):**

Hahah... you'll see.

* * *

_This was a lose-lose situation. I had no apartment anymore. I could move in with Bella, but she had guys over all the time, and I was sure James wouldn't be an exception. While I was thinking through the alternatives, Emmett spoke up again. "By the way, I threw out your vibrator…s. I figured if you were flustered enough – you talk in your sleep, did you know that? – you'd come to me for some help." And wagged his beautifully sculpted eyebrows at me._

_I turned red. "EMMETT! I want my apartment back. I want my life back. But most of all, I want my rabbit back!"_

* * *

Emmett just laughed, and got out of the jeep. I stayed planted where I was, crossing my arms over my chest and _hmph_ing loud enough for him to hear.

Walking over to my side of the jeep, he started humming a tune that sounded familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on the name of the song. He opened my door, tapping his foot playfully like he was running late or something. I rolled my eyes, staying planted firmly in his jeep. I was hoping that he'd give up; I should've known better.

Dimples in full knock-you-out-with-my-level-of-hottness mode, he proceeded to unbuckle me at the speed of light, and dragged me from the jeep, throwing me over his shoulder. This made memories of me in the same position surface, only he being sans clothing... _stop thinking like that about your husband, Alice!_

Humming the same annoyingly familiar song, he carried me past the moving truck, through the door into his apartment building, up the seemingly never-ending stairs, and finally through his large apartment to his room, where he threw me down onto the bed. Huffing and puffing, I sat up, glaring at him. My carefully spiked hair was sure to be in a horrible mess now, and my clothes were twisted around my body in all directions.

He giggled, and ran out of the room. What grown man _giggles_? Apparently my hubby. He was probably wearing his batman boxers, or something.

I ran over the pros and cons quickly in my head.

Pros; I had a gloriously hot husband (a mistake, but a hot mistake) who wanted to live with me. It was a very nice apartment. I could have anything I wanted.

Cons; I liked my old apartment. I was costing him money. HE WAS A MISTAKE.

Hm. What to do... what to do... _what is that godawful smell? Is something burning?!_

I was up in the blink of an eye, and running out of his apartment (I vaguely remembered not shutting the door), down the stairs, and outside, to see the truck driver and Emmett standing next to a pile of things, _MY THINGS_, on fire! _What the hell?!_

"EMMETT! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" I jumped over to them, where I could get a better look at the burning items. Both men were laughing, watching the flames. Things such as my tape (I couldn't imagine why he'd want that burned, but I was okay with it), the few pictures I had of me and ex boyfriends, my poem book that had been hidden in a cosmopolitan magazine, my fluffy comforter, and a few other miscellaneous things were turning into ash before my eyes. First, I was too sad for words. That poem book had my deepest feelings in it, about life in general. The other things I could live without. My depression quickly transformed into an all-consuming rage, and before I knew it, I was running up the stairs to Emmett's apartment.

Thankfully, I had left the door open, since I didn't have a key. I shut it, locking it, deadbolting it, and hooking the chain. As an extra precaution, I put a chair against the doorknob, assuring it wouldn't open. I giggled to myself, hearing his heavy feet pound the floor in a wasted effort to stop my devious revenge.

"BABE! C'mon, it was only a few things! Now that you're living with me, you won't need it! I promise! I'll even buy you new stuff if you want it! And don't worry about the tape, I converted it to DVD so we didn't need that useless cassette tape!" He tried opening the door – it was no use. "Oh, Ali, please?" I was starting to soften up, but hearing him call me Ali set me off again, reminding me of my original plan.

Opening the window overlooking the sidewalk in front of the building, I yelled, "Oh, _BABE,_ you won't be getting in here for quite a while. Since you disposed of my belongings without permission, I think I'll do the same." With this, I took his beloved flat screen, and chucked it out the window. The truck driver watched with wide eyes as the tv fell the 4 stories to the ground, and hit the concrete with a delicious _THUDSPLATSHATTERCRASH_. I laughed loudly, "I hope you didn't have anything you needed tivo'd today!" He started frantically banging on the door, sending me into hysterics. After a few minutes, my laughter died down, as did his pounding.

I heard his footsteps retreat from the apartment door, and he went downstairs. What could he possibly be doing?

I looked out the window to see him digging in the moving truck, for what I had no clue. I ignored him, and went back to finding things to throw out the window.

Seemingly expensive paintings – out the window. Microwave – out the window. Mini-fridge – out the window. With each thing, I got happier, until finally (after accumulating quite the pile on the ground below), I wanted to make sure none of the things were salvagable. In my left hand, I held a carton of eggs, in my right, a fire extinguisher. In my childhood years, Jazzy and I had discovered that when you drop a fire extinguisher, it explodes, sending the white foam inside everywhere. The eggs were just a decorative touch.

As I held my arms out the window to drop them, I heard Em's footsteps approach. I stopped momentarily, wondering what he was up to.

Soon, I heard the background music to the same song he had been humming all day. _Oh no... he wouldn't!_

"MET A GIRL, THOUGHT SHE WAS GRAND! FELL IN LOVE, FOUND OUT FIRSTHAND! WENT WELL, FOR A WEEK OR TWO... THEN IT ALL CAME UNGLUED!"

I put the items I was holding down, and went to the door.

"EMMETT! Stop it! NOW!" I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of opening the door, though, so he continued, only he lowered his voice for a little while. I sighed of relief... until he got near the chorus.

"NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE THE ONE TO SLIP, THEN I STARTED TO REALIZE, I WAS LIVIN' ONE BIG LIE!"

_Oh no, oh no, oh no..._ I was chanting in my head (and it wouldn't surprise me if it was outloud too), as I knew the chorus was next. It seemed he turned up whatever microphone he was using, and I'm sure the entire apartment building heard it.

"_**SHE FUCKING HATES ME!**_ JUST, SHE FUCKING HATES ME, LA LA LA LA! I TRIED TOO HARD, AND SHE TORE MY FEELINGS LIKE I HAD NONE, AND RIPPED THEM AWAY!"

I burst out in tears, I didn't deserve this! He started it! I quickly threw the carton of eggs and fire extinguisher down to the pile, and only vaguely heard the _KURCHINK _of the mini-explosion below as I went to the door, opening all the locks before he could continue with the song. The microphone shut off instantly as he saw my face, tear-streaked and make-up everywhere.

I didn't want to deal with him, so I ran to the bathroom, and locked myself in.

Did I really hate him? I didn't think so. I actually sortof liked him, if I could admit it even to myself. It just set me off that he did that. But... by retaliating **(A/N thanks to MissLoonyLovegood for catching my mistake there, anyone feel free to correct me. (: )**, did that put me in the same category as him? Was I just going for low blows now? The tears fell freely now; I hated crying. It was the lowest sign of weakness.

"Babe... I didn't mean to upset you..." I heard a light tap on the door.

"Get away from me." I managed to croak out. Why, oh why did I have to be crying? I couldn't even get away from him, I didn't have anywhere to go. I had left my cell somewhere in the kitchen while picking up the microwave, so having a Bella-escape wasn't an option.

I had to get courage, somehow. I had to face him. I had to know what the fuck that song was supposed to mean.

I stood, before I could internally talk myself out of it, and checked myself in the mirror. I looked like hell. I quickly wiped off the excess makeup running down my cheeks along with the lingering tear drops, and tried to fix my hair as much as I could. Taking a deep breath, I walked to the door. I could hear him breathing on the other side, waiting for me.

Opening the door, I meant to confront him. I really did. But, when I opened my mouth, his lips met mine in a passionate kiss, absorbing my whole being. His tongue pushed entrance into my mouth, and I instinctively wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He dragged my body around his, pushing me against the wall. I locked my ankles behind his back, feeling his chest mold into mine. It felt like we were one person, like we were utterly connected in this moment.

We both stopped almost simultaneously, opening our eyes, unlocking our limbs. What had we done? _We just shattered the foundation of our current relationship, that's what we did. I told you to stop thinking of him like this! I told you, I told you, I TOLD YOU!_ The voice inside my head rejoiced because she was right; but one question was left unanswered by my voice.

Where did this leave Emmett and I?

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**(A/N) Okay, I'm a horrible writer. I know. But even I think I deserve more reviews than I've been getting. ): Seriously. Lol. Just because I'm horrid with finding time to write doesn't mean you should withhold your praise/criticism/etc. etc. ): Reeeviiiiewwww?! And I'm way sorry these are getting shorter... I just said all I wanted to say in this chapter. I probably could've gotten away with posting it as one chapter... oh well. PLEASE REVIEW? :D**


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